Monday, December 8, 2008

Writings from Past "So Close" 05/08 Part Two

I am burnout. I never thought that I'd be kneeling down pleading for my last bits of time. My eyes get heavy every second of the day now, and I can't seem to find out why it hurts when they close. Never thought that I would be here, with them, with my own self, finding out new paths to take. Paths that already feel like I've stepped on them before, paths that were only dreams. It's real, they're there.

I think I will cry,
Cry until my eyes begin to hurt,
Cry until he's not dead,
Cry until he didn't touch me,
Cry until I leave this place,
Cry until they stop believing in me,
Cry until I no longer can see.

Now and then I get insecure from all the talk,
From them,
From myself.

Life was not pain,
My thoughts closed off,
I keep bleeding with no real blood to show for it,
Doubt is what I see now,
For I no longer think that I can take it.

It's ok if i cry,
It's ok if i can't anymore,
If this pain is too much,
If all my tears are no longer my own…

More, and more I wish that your smile would turn mine true. The air gets thinner and thinner, and the glimpses I see of your face still makes me feel "vacant-homeless."

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