Edward Cullen

I think that I finally have hope. Idk if that means anything in reality but after seeing Twilight for the fourth time, I think that I am ready to believe in myself. To believe that one-day I will find my Edward Cullen in life. Maybe not entirely believe it but there is something inside of me, a small little thing, that is holding on for dear life because it knows that it’s going to be worth it all. I got teary for different scenes today while I watched the movie. Looking back, I wonder if it’s because I finally felt like it was me. That I was Bella. When Edward spoke the words, “you’re my life now… you have no idea how long I’ve waited for you” my heart felt them. I think I know that I didn’t feel the words because I felt for them, but because I felt for myself. I don’t know how my Edward Cullen will look, smell, feel, but I do know that he is going to be there. Not soon, but he is here, with me, feeling me, thinking about the day that he will speak tender words to me and when I offer him my heart. He just has to be feeling how I feel! I know it! And it’s because we feel the same heartbreak that will bring us together. He will be my Edward and I will be his Cullen.

Writings,
After writings,
After more writings,
Is all I’ve come to complain with.

Real complain,
Real whining,
Real heart,
Real real.

Inhale,
Exhale,
Inhale,
Inhale,
Inhale
I’m not ready [yet] to exhale.

“It’s not weird because this is all I’ve ever known.”

My fingers wont’ stop letting them know who I am,
Pleading for help,
Pleading for the real me to just read the titles of my writings,
Only they know how to move with the rhythm of my soul,
How to calm me down when all the hope that I have,
Painfully gets taken away,
When I find myself locked in my past,
They are the only ones that can help me move on.

Slow down and breathe,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Inhale,
Inhale,
Inhale,
[Don’t ever stop] Exhale.