There's a pain in my back that doesn't allow me to sleep for very long. Worse, there is you that is with me when the days burn and the nights shadow.

How could this be.
I'm too young to be alone,
Misery is out of my control,
But laying in bed for the past 21 years, alone,
Is not.

I'm following you in my dreams, in my thoughts,
With a sprained ankle,
I can still keep up,
I never wanted this for myself,
And how I've prayed to all the gods I've known for a midday dance.

I keep waking up.

the morning of

i'm hungover. my mouth feels numb from the moscato and shots i drank last night.
i'm sore.my arms feel bruised and my legs feel beat from running three miles in a stinky ass gym.
filled with creatine,
salty lips,
and men.
tons of men.

i don't know what to make of you,
i sat in a room wtih faces,
texting him,
yet thinking of you,
not in the same way as i use to though. or maybe.
you've been so distant. and i keep hiding in small corners.

your humor sucks.
real, real bad.
i desire your brown, olive skin pressed against mine.
i desire parts of you.
the company,
the hands,
the car,
the uncut dick and the ass i can't remember.
you suck,
i fucking suck.