Reading

I don't know how to describe how i am feeling at the current moment. My mind is spinning, turning, speeding, relaxing, fucking and daydreaming.

Are things at this point not meant to work out? Should I dare try to pursuit something and know that I will just end up with nothing in the end because the distance would break the affinity apart? But then again, there is something local that I know would be more satisfying? But satisfying because of standards, color, language OR because I know that it would truly be possible and the impossible is always what attracts me? So lost in the dreams that I continue to have of the same being. After night, after night, and sometimes even evenings I have unsatisfying dreams that are never going to come true.

I hope that I can sleep tonight and not dream.

But if i do dream i hope that its about the possible and no longer about the impossible discourses that keep me alone.