Present, Future, and always the Past

As I sit in my small blue room, clothes scattered all over, a tissue box to my right, and books stacked in no particular order.. I repeat to myself "you will be famous one day" to what capacity I am not sure of. I went to a psychic my senior year of high school with the comadres and she told me "you will find the love of your life at the age of 21 and be famous for your writing." As much as I would like to strongly say that her words flew past me, they didnt! A part of me is still waiting until i turn 21 to find the love of my life and still trying to figure out how my writing will lead to my stardom.

My grades are poor, strongly improving but not as fast as I would like them to. I graduate in a year and a half and I know that i will be attending graduate school. But how? How do I venture to a journey that is foreign? I want to pursue something in Public Policy (for legal background) and Chican@ Studies. Ideally I would like to get paid to read and write all day and possibly teach every now-and-then- remaining famous while doing so- yet I know that is highly impossible unless i find myself a suggar daddy... NOPE!

I would like to be like Carrie from Sex and the City. Get paid to write an article every week about sex, love, relationships. However, I would add my own twist by including politics and sexuality. Won't someone pay me to share the stories of my people? or myself?

I have an idea for my fictional book, which i am determined to have finished and published by the time I am 25! It would be a series of fictional novels that will focus on one particular aspect of my life. I wonder though... if people would read it? Would people care about the story of a chicano? Would chicanos care about it? Would white people? Black people? Yellow people? ... mmmmmmm Anyway, i want to add poetry as well. I don't know how I will incorporate that but i will find a way. Poetry is me. It's what I have been doing all my life.. something that always helped me survive because it never had to make sense, follow a certain structure, or have any rule. Just me and everything about me.

typical me.. .i am already getting teary eyed thinking of what to write in my novel..