Caballo Dorado

I really couldn't understand the speed of which my life was going last night. I was racing but I was racing to get lost. I didn't do it on purpose, I was attempting to continue the stability of which my life had taken up for the past 5 days. There was no way out of this circle- Irvine. Every building was the same shade of beige. That beige that creeps up from behind at nights and blocks you. Never allows you to see any other colors that might help ease your breathing. I looked and played with my phone, still searching for something that was impossible to search for; but don't I get some credit for my determination? My persistence in not admitting defeat? 

I'm not in Irvine, Downey, Santa Barbara or here. Still stuttering, still looking through my bag, still pressing buttons on my phone, still blocked by these four beige walls, walls that turned into pavement, the same pavement i'm racing to get lost...