A.S Elections

I feel deeply upset. Student government elections are approaching and once again my work becomes silent. I don’t want to run. I don’t want to be part of an association where I lose a piece of myself everytime I walk through the doors. In my current process of rebuilding pieces of myself that the association tarnished the last two years, I have distanced myself from the space. However, like most things in life that you wish would dissolve and leave you alone, it is election season and my phone wont’ stop ringing. From people that want to lobby me, vent to me, manipulate me to support their political aspirations. The eyes of my friends begin to turn a shade redder, a redness that yearns for power. Having lost twice, the political paradigm that supports white/anglo leadership over qualified people of color has pushed me away. Far away enough where I don’t care about elections. The structure, in which Associated Students is built on, prevents me from once again fully participating. I want to read. I want to write. However, in order to read and write at my own free will I must sleep with one eye open. Be conscious of my surroundings and people whose eyes change color at the site of power.