I tucked it underneath my pillow when we were both pretending to sleep....

I wish there was a way that I could take my black maker and blackout his name.
How could I be so stupid?
How could I not?
How can I be so unsure of what love is that I still think that what I did was stupid??

I have many secrets,
Secrets because i am ashamed,
So ashamed of myself that the secrets keep adding.
I wish there was a way that i could prevent them from occurring but they keep feeding me these death seeds...

I am fierce at the cost of love.
I am insecure at the cost of love.
I am who I am at the cost of love!

Everything is at the cost of something. I can't and won't be vulnerable until I know it's fine to do so.

I fight the world each day because that was the only thing I was taught growing up and it's all I've seen and continue to see....