WELLSFARGO!

I am so fucking upset!

I hate the fact that I can't be fucking responsible enough to avoid overdraft motherfuckin fees!

ugh!!!

I hate that they didn't approve my withdrawal of WRITING 2!

wtf?!?!?!?

stupid ass!!!

i need to get my life together.... but i keep saying that and nothing has changed. i need to get my life together, and as much as i type it out, I know that it will probably wont happen! I NEED TO FUCKING GET MY LIFE TOGETHER!!!

I REALLY HOPE I DO!

I WILL

BUT I KNOW THAT IT'S ONE BIG MESS!!

ugh....

annoyed at friends, annoyed and school, annoyed at everything and everyone

brb!

FUCK!!!!

I am SOBERRRRRR

Fuck!!!!

I want to imagine that there is no place like the space of color where true love is found....

I want to imagine that there is a soul outside of the air I breathe. When there was a true color in the sky I squinted to make sure there was a pink shade of glitter to represent me...

I don't know if i am scared of loving a person for their age,
Or if i am scared of loving a person for their skin color,
But i am scared of loving he.

I want to wake up in the summer with only a speedo on. My hair hiding my face and just a sea of comfort over me. When the night takes over i need to know that I am alive and still awake. I don't want to sleep under the sheets with only an empty space next to me. The space that haunts me when i don't know what's next in life. I want to feel the sun give color to my skin, I want to know that something out there is needing me to live on...

I don't understand the meaning as to why 7am is the alarm to my body...

I woke up thinking that I don't want to speak.....

God that asshole wrote to me and even though I could seriously care less at the moment, WTF?!?!?

I needed to be forgotten,
I needed to feel as if it never happened like other events in my life....

I am embarrassed by how I felt,
Reacted,
Expressed the care I had inside for a closet case that reminds me so much of my own past...

I know why I woke up. I woke up because I lack the tender space that would keep me asleep. The space that would tire me,
Hold me,
Look into my eyes and kiss me goodnight.

I need to fix my reality and stop wanting the broom of fantasy that will sweep the nightmares from within.